Strangest rant of the day: “The Apple”

I love “Something Positive.” It is one of the best webcomics around. It’s decently drawn with some interesting characters and the sometimes heartfelt strips are neatly balanced by the heartfelt cynical strips.

R.K. Milholland sometimes includes notes at the bottom of the strip, and in today’s strip for Oct. 21, he goes off on a rant about a movie he was given at a convention by a fan. A movie called “The Apple”.

Man, does he hate “The Apple.”

I have endured some cinematic bowel movements in my time but I’d rather take a thermite enema while all my ex-girlfriends sit around me in a circle and ask me about my feelings than watch this putrid nonsense again. How the fuck did this thing get greenlighted? How in the Hell did someone read this awful script, where in the future record companies run the world and judge how popular a performer is by monitoring their audience’s heart beats (no, I’m not joking) and say, “Yes, that will catch the attention of the movie viewing public”? There are less contrived plotlines in Winx Club slashfic written by sexually confused pre-teen girls. Someone owes me a fucking apology for this thing existing.

According to the “trivia” section on Internet Movie Database, he’s not alone.

Reportedly, during its premiere at the Paramount Theater in Hollywood, audiences threw their free souvenir soundtracks at the screen, causing extensive damage.

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